"Ima be your tour guide, here take these binoculars; Tell me if you see something prosperous (Hell nah!)
- KXNG CROOKED "Dem People"
When I look around at my surroundings and all that is going on around me, the feeling I get is one of disgust. I then feel a weight of sadness when I try and reconcile the place Afrikan people occupied in the past, contrasted to where we are today. To witness first hand the results of the destruction reaped on the Afrikan family. To observe the lack of trust that exists as a result of past experiences and trauma. Witnessing the deceitful nature a person can develop to the extent that they exploit their own relatives for personal gain. Black families have so much pain that we carry around, burdening our worldviews and actions. Generation after generation of hurt compounded and inherited.
"I have bared witness to our white counterparts receiving financial support from their well off relatives well into advanced age, while a working class black woman struggles to provide for herself, and a burdening manipulative mother. All the while we go along as if we are all “Americans” and have the same struggles."
We only enjoy short-lived moments of happiness before the force of our deplorable state strikes us in the face. In our community too many times our people’s development is arrested, and the maturity of adulthood is never reached, no matter their age. I’ve seen too many young adults, ill equipped due their upbringing to begin with, having to shoulder the weight of a dysfunctional and helpless parent. I have bared witness to our white counterparts receiving financial support from their well off relatives well into advanced age, while a working class black woman struggles to provide for herself and a burdening manipulative mother. All the while we go along as if we are all “Americans” and have the same struggles. Not by a long shot. We are vexed with the dilemma of loved one’s who are liabilities to themselves. We long to see them progress and advance, but we’re often disappointed to find our enthusiasm for them to succeed is not matched by the individual. As much as the individual family member may struggle, a caring love one suffers as well, only wanting the best for the person while witnessing their troubles. Many times the loved one plays a critical role in their own suffering, but can only point blame elsewhere not being able to except accountability for their actions, a testament to their immaturity. We live a life where you are virtually on your own. If you’re fortunate you may have some support, and most of the time it’s emotional support. However if you need to borrow a substantial amount of money, you’ll probably have difficulty because most of our people are living check to check, if they’re employed at all. If you need advice on career path decisions and whether or not too attend college, many of our loved ones will be at a loss to help because they have little exposure to this world. Therefore we pray to the ancestors for guidance and try our best to navigate this racist, unforgiving world to the best of our ability. When I take a good look at the situation it saddens me, but at the same time I realize the toughness of my people. On a daily we face hurdles that would seem insurmountable to the next person. We embody Tupac Shakur’s phrase “the rose that grew from the concrete”. Despite all the struggles we face, we are the most beautiful, humane people in the world. The same people who don’t have much relative to others but will share whatever they do have without a second thought. The people that love intensely; unlike any other group. The struggle continues…
Who I Am
A man who is unafraid to deal with the world as I've experienced it and see it day to day.